I am moving…into a house…taking on big person responsibilities…and i am scarred poop-less!!! Yes folks, there you have it. I have been living in a wee apt for the the past three years, longest i have ever stayed in one place. I have made me a home with the kitties. I have done quite the bit of work on my self and well…I wanna grow up.
I don’t think folks understand when i say scarred…I have a huge history of never following through on stuff, and running like a bear stung by a bee, when things get tough…I just go.
I have huge demons in my closet. I have tamed some, but some are still showing up at times. Its hard to hit them with a hammer when I cant even find the light.
I don’t want to make this sound all glum and dreary. I am super happy and ecstatic at finding my love, and finding home, and I know in my heart of hearts its the right thing to do…just the impending doom feeling that has haunted me for years, it lives on.
Here’s the truth though, and I know it when I get quiet…all will be well…I am not in control…All I have to do is the next right thing and tada…all will be as it should.
Silly human that I am, I mess it all up, throw great big rocks Maybe just maybe, I had to jot this down to get the hibby jibbies out of me. I just dont know, but I know this…moving day is October 1…Creator carry me Home.