“Forward”

Here we go folks.  One week to five.  I know I am suppose to be living in the day, relishing my moments, but oh this one is trying.  I have never really had thoughts running at me like ninety.  Some good.  Some bad, but all welcome, because it is growth.

I been trying to tie pieces up too lately.  I made a couple deep amends, that I dont know how they are accepted, nor will I follow them down to find out.  One does not make amends to hurt, one makes them to cleanse, and if i am bringing hurt, then it aint an amends.  The letters were sent.  Thats all I need to know.

I got some not so good news about my mom, but why fall off the deep end.  I am simply not in charge of nothing.  Its all test of my faith.  If I have faith, then why worry.  All will be as it should.

Now, I am sitting here listening to tunes that i use to drink to in the first house i owned, and it’s just surreal.  I have come pretty damn far in a short period of time.  Miigwetch to all who have help bring me here.

In this moment, I relax, and take in the beauty surrounding me, and I breath.  Remember to breath, and one day after another…boom it happens…I am just so blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“Tis The Season”

I am Pagan.  I wont get started on the whole they have stolen our holiday’s thing.  It is just not worth my time any more. I just celebrate my stuff and let it go, or try to. Its awful hard task to accomplish when all this silliness flies at you this time of year.

I am Metis.  I wont get started on all the injustices, and wrong doings done on my people for eons now.  You all know it,at least,I hope your aware.  They hung Louis Riel. They stole our children. They sent us away to fantastic schools that left us scarred for years, but I wont go into that.

I am Two-Spirited.  I won’t get started on the whole in equality we have felt from all sides for so long.  Our beautiful tradition, squashed out nearly to extinction, to the point where some don’t even believe we exist. Yes, hard to believe folks, but their are those in 2015 that don’t believe I exist.

I am me, and I am human.  Wrapped up in all my imperfections, and my addictions that i battle daily, but Creator willing i come out more put together  then before.

I use to be a stereo -type.  It wasn’t hard to do.  All the papers, and the history books told me the way to go.

I am not putting the blame on anyone but me for the path I choose to walk, because that is my point,that,at this point in my five year walk , i see, its a choice.  It’s all about accepting life exactly as life is,and to be in that moment.

All these things I am, and use to be, they are me and if I accept that as it is, my days are pretty fantastic pieces of art.  Strung together they form years.

I was thinking about Tina Fontaine today.  It could of been me.  I feel the pain of each family member.  Our nation cries.  We fail so many in so many ways.

“tis the season, folks, lets try love instead of hate, lets try compassion , instead of disillusionment, let’s all be Zenlike and be here, in our moment and fix this world gone mad.

I am me, and I am not perfect. I am a dreamer, a seeker, a shaker of things, and I still believe love is all we need to heal.  pass it on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John Trudell

Poet, warrior, survivor.  Passed on December 8, 2015.  The day Mark David Chapman decided to end John Lennon’s life, because he wanted to be bigger then life.

John Trudell was a humble man, of great vision, and of great sorrow.  I believe his take on Peltier’s case. I believe his take on a lot of things.

The fact that he stood up and spoke out against a corrupt government, and then his family suspiciously perishes in a house fire.  Thank Creator, John was away.

Could of been a bitter man.  Could of been an angry man turned into your stereotypical indigenous male. 

Nope, not John.  Higher calling.  Eyes set on Creator-community.  Knowing in his heart.  We are just humans learning to be humans in a world that is increasingly forgetting what it is to be human.

We will miss you.  Fly on home, in the spirit of crazy horse. I hope we can do your proud, and carry on what you so desperately fought for.

Peace, love and light will guide our way.

 

 

 

 

#MMIW

“In the end, truths will be told as the inquiry unravels. Merci/Thankyou/Miigwetch Anne Bennett for being the brave one to open the door to the ugly truths, and that is what i think has been behind the whole train wreck that held back any looking into any of this mess.

Human beings really don’t wanna pull the rug up and see what lies beneath.  Keep it all nice, and pretty, and the problems will go away.

Well, folks, they just don’t. 

They multiply into amazing things like addictions, violence, hatred, poverty, murder to name a few.

Human beings just shouldn’t have to live like this.  We just shouldn’t.  On top of that if this is going on, and you got a government looking the other way, well come on folks.  Am I the only one that see this needs to be abolished?

Shut the whole damn thing down.  Start right from scratch.  Let’s lead with love.  Let’s remember what matters.  As a great man once said, “I am just a human being, learning how to be a human being, in a world that in which it is fastly becoming harder to be a human being. John Trudell.”

The inquiry will reveal a lot of stuff we just don’t want to know, folks, so hang on tight, keep your mind wide open.  This could be the start to true change if we allow it be from a place of love, because hate has been ruling for far too long.  Look where it has got us.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The Bin”

I have been waiting for a garbage bin to do my fall yard clean up for about a month now.  That right there speaks large.  Im 50, sober almost five years,Creator willing, there will be one more days, and the thing that gets me all excited is….A Garbage Bin!!!!  I am a happy happy happy homeowner.  I am a very blessed homeowner.  Yesterday, when the bin arrived, I commenced my chores asap.  I all ready had my pile of stuff beside our garage in anticipation of this day.  Imagine my surprise when i discovered the old mattress i put back there, tossed about, and the old fence we tore down, well it was laying on the ground and underneath it was….A Bike!!!!! Nice shiny blue 18 speed CCM mountain bike. I have been asking for a bike…wowowowow….can you imagine my amazement at getting two wonderful gifts all in one day.  i was simply overjoyed.  I thanked Creator, and continued through my day.

Arising this Am, I was anxious to get out to the bin and show my work off to the wife.  Imagine our surprise when we discovered a note on our garage door.  It was from the “owner” of the bike.  l, then we found note number two pinned to the second garage door.  Now we were curious and rather amused. I mean, I found the bike hidden on our property.  What was i suppose to do?  Leave bike there in hopes owner would come get?  I was yard cleaning.  You hid your bike in my garbage.  Your lucky i didn’t put it in the bin.  Your trespassing.Well, then we walk to the back of our yard where the garage and the bin are located and tada….note number three appears posted on the bin, beside the bin is a box with another note on it as well.  That is four notes dude.  For a bike you hid on our property and all your notes say you are coming back with the law for your bike.  Its your only possession.  

Well no worries, one note was written on the back of a receipt for a government check with your name and address on it.  You also left me your number on your threatening notes as well.  So, I did what the wife suggested, because now you are trespassing, and you are peering into the windows of our garage looking for said bike which is in there , and then you threaten to come get bike.

I am now in process of waiting for the federales to come chat with me.  Last time I spoke with them, amid snickers, the lady on the phone said if you come round to call 911.  I will.   That will just put the icing on the cake and make the whole thing even more ridiculous.

All in a day in the life at 301 second in midland ontario canada.  Have a good one.